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Anxiety and Depression, Study Abroad

I know it has taken me a long time to write another post. The truth is I felt like giving up on this. I could not find any words to share because I had lost hope and inspiration. I found myself disinterested in many other daily activities. I would just stay home and feel sorry for myself. I knew something was wrong, but I did not know what. I was too scared to face it and I did not want to face it. Relationships I had were just things in the past. It was hard to keep friendships because I did not want to talk to anyone and I knew they would not understand. I felt alone even though I was not.

I needed to wake up and take my life back, but I just did not know how. I would not say I have my life back but I am trying to wake up as best as I can. I knew if I did not do anything the most important relationships I still had would truly suffer.

I would no longer sleep well during the night, I was waking up several times. I would wake up early no longer able to sleep in. Anxiety about going to class, running into people, etc. Lack of interest in everything. Did not want to watch anything, read anything, write anything, did not want to work, go to school, and did not want to be outside. There were moments where I was really happy then I would get extremely mad or irritated. Constantly going through thoughts in my head which drove me crazy. This is just a slight picture of what I was going through.

It was really hard when I went to study abroad in London. It was my dream to go there for as long as I could remember. As soon as I got there it was extremely hard and I knew it was for everyone, but I knew myself and how it was probably going to go. I tried my best to talk to the other people there even though they thought I was just quiet. The thing is I wanted to talk, I wanted to be best friends with everyone there, and I just stopped myself because of myself. I wish that those friendships lasted because we all had a great time together when we were out. There were many times I was so happy to be there and to be there with great people. But after classes stopped I isolated myself and I don’t know what the others thought when I was just in my room. I was not trying to be rude, I just made myself more depressed than I already was. I wish I would’ve gone out and asked everyone what they were doing so I would be included, but I just sat there. I wish they would’ve said something to me too, but it was me dealing with me. I miss London now, I wish I could do it all over again, but I did learn a lot. I needed to wake up. To all my flat mates I love you girlies, you hold a special place in my heart and memories. We experienced a lot together. Thank you for making my birthday as special as it could be when I was sick and so far from home. I will never forget you guys.

The first step was going to see someone and admitting I had a serious problem. I was extremely nervous going into that first therapy session. I had become very closed off and it was difficult to talk about myself. But it was freeing to talk to someone who did not know me and did not judge me. In the end I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It did not come as a shock to me. I had dealt with anxiety before. I thought I had a handle on it but I guess I was wrong.

So I am in therapy, I try to go to the gym as much as I can, I try to eat better and be better. Living with these diseases is a struggle, but God gave me this challenge for a reason. I am going to live as best as I can and get the life I always wanted back. I hope you will continue on this journey with me. I am sorry to the people who think I forgot them. I love you all!

With all my love,

Meghann

Bad Friendships

There is a saying that goes something along the lines of “Friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know they are always there”. But what happens when the star that symbolizes a friendship fades away?

Before I get going with the purpose of this post, I just wanted to ask you all how you are doing? I hope you are having an absolutely lovely day. I on the other hand have freezing rain outside my window, well not just my window, but let’s just say it’s gloomy and I want to go take a nap. That is actually a pretty good idea, I think I am going to take a nap after I write this, is that okay with you all? Haha  I can only ever take naps when it is cold and gloomy out, I do not know what it is, but I know I am probably not the only one who feels this way.

When a friendship starts loosing its spark, it is hard to accept. One person (in the friendship) may notice slight differences in how you both communicate, or the lack of effort one or both of you have in keeping the friendship intact. I wanted to bring this subject up because I have had to make a decision to keep certain people out of my life recently; whom I once thought brought me so much joy and happiness into my life. But I took a step back and saw the kind of person I was becoming. I did not recognize myself anymore. I was letting someone take advantage of me and I hardly realized it. I was letting the people who I was surrounded by influence my morals and what I really valued in life. This was TOXIC!

I do not know if any of you know that I am Christian. Now I know there has been a lot of negativity in the media highlighting some “Christians” and what they have been doing and what they believe. But first and foremost I do not want to force a relationship with God down your throat. Yes I will always speak about the good he has done in my life, but it is within reason. And that does not make me any less Christian for not going and preaching to people all the time. I get the feeling that Christian people have a bad reputation, but let me just say, NO ONE is the SAME. I treat everyone equally and a lot of Christians do, it is just the so called “bad one’s” we hear about. I bring this up because I had friends who did not respect the choices I was making because I want to be the best person I can be in the eyes of my God. It was hurting me because I had respected the questionable choices they had made, but when it was time for them to show the same respect, I got bashed and made fun of. What kind of friends are those, if you could even call them that? The point that I am trying to make is that do not keep people in your life that don’t respect your values. It is that simple, you do not need that in your life.

Sure the friendships I had did have their sparkle at most times, but when it goes out, it is out for good. What I mean by that is there were great memories that we made and they will never be forgotten. I do not wish my worst thoughts on them because what is the use? Sometimes people grow apart and you just can’t do anything to fix it.

I truly felt alone in these friendships a lot recently and up to the ending of the friendship. There were people who sort of came in and replaced me which is okay now since the friendship is gone. I am all for having a lot of friends, but how many can you say are your best friends? I hope my ex best friend realizes that I do not wish the worst thoughts on her, we had great times, and that our friendship was something really special. We both made mistakes, some more than others, but it is in the past. I hope you are able to live out your dreams, and live it out with people who are better suited for who you are, and where you are going.

I want you ALL to look into your life and make sure you have people in your life who make you better, lift you up, support you in school, and are overall the light to your smiles. As cheesy as it sounds your friends should light you up like the stars you are.

I am sorry that I have not been writing much, I have switched jobs, and university is crazy. I love you ALL, and I will see you when I see you

Stay beautiful!

XOXO NewBeautyGuru

That’s So 2014!

It’s hard to believe that 2014 is over and 2015 is ready for some great, new, and exciting memories. 2014 was a particularly hard year to get over because so many great things happened in my life. I graduated high school, started college, and made such great and new friends who I know are my soul sisters. I’m currently watching Sex and the City, and I honestly can see that great friendship with all of my girls. You know who you all are! I can’t help but wonder if 2015 is going to be as amazing as 2014, but I’m not going to dwell on the past. I’m going to make 2015 as great as it can be, who’s with me!?

Lately, I have not had an inspiring things to write about because I really needed to evaluate if I wanted to pursue writing still. I was at a point where I wanted to just give up, but writing has always been my second love. I could not see my life without pursuing my dream and if it does not work out, I’ll be happy that I even tried. But, I am getting way too far ahead in planning out my life. I guess it’s the woman in me. Why is it that women always have to be such planners? But then again, if women were not planners, what would the world look like? I do not even want to visualize it lol.

I hate that I hardy even update this blog anymore, I know I let a lot of people down, and I honestly do not like to make excuses. I am currently writing this on my vacation because my readers, you, deserve it. I honestly am so grateful that people even read my blog. I never could have imagined that I would have more than a couple readers, which would probably be my friends, in which I would force them to read it haha. But I wouldn’t be NewBeautyGuru if I did not leave you guessing where I went lol. I also think it is good to get out and enjoy life and not be stuck looking at a computer screen for long periods of time. I have been trying to disconnect with the digital world for a little bit and it is nice for a while. But of course I will never fully disconnect. I mean, who could?

So enough with the updates and on to what I think I do best haha. The Golden Globes were on this past Sunday and I was totally checking out everyone from head to toe. I mean the Golden Globes are honestly best when it is just about the fashion, let’s be real lol. So let’s take a look at my top 3 favorite fashions of the night!

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Gina Rodriguez. I am so proud of this girl right here. She is the star of one of my favorite TheCW shows, Jane The Virgin, and she won a Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series. Most people do not get it right on the red carpet, but I just love this simple black look. I would gravitate for something like this myself.

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Does Emma Stone get it wrong ever? Some might say this is too simple of a look, but it is still so elegant and beautiful. I would wear this in a heartbeat. Why should women never be comfortable on the red carpet? This is just amaze-ball-azing!!

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Kate Hudson honestly just takes my breath away. I mean how hot, sleek, elegant, and confident does she look? Just perfection!

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Now Melissa McCarthy does not make my best dressed list, but I just need to really congratulate her! I mean I am so proud of her amazing weight loss! I would love her funny self either way, but how much more confident does she look in herself? For me, as long as you love yourself, there’s no one who will ever bring you down because you are freakin’ awesome. One can change the outside appearance as much as they want, but what makes you, you, will never change. We love you Melissa! What an inspiration.

I’m ready to make 2015 another year to remember. Here’s to taking chances, falling in love, surrounding ourselves with amazing people, and maybe hitting the gym! (If you’re into that of course haha). But let it be known, I love you and everyone just the way they are. I hope I did not offend anyone at all in this post. So let’s raise a glass to 2015 and make 2014 jealous! Soon we’ll be saying “That was so 2014!”

Kisses,

NewBeautyGuru

                      xoxo

Decided to do something a little different.

I know that my blog is supposed to be about fashion and what music I’m listening to, but today I am going to change things up. Someone recently asked me to write something for them and I think it came out pretty good. It’s a little deep at first, but I think it has a good meaning behind it. It shows a little more of my creative side, so I thought I would share it with you all. Warning: It’s kind of girly, but then again a women wrote it lol. I know there are probably some grammatical mistakes, so please be gentle and kind. I am opening up to you all so please take that into consideration. In the end I will also share some music on my playlist!

“She is nothing more than crimson red hands that leave marks on her wrists

Or the same hands that leave imprints like battle wounds

Those battle wounds in which gush out what is left of her soul

Slaughtered like some sort of animal.

 

She is nothing more than red hands that slap across her pale, white face

With nothing to be seen then the red fingerprints that linger on her face

Like a branding of some unusual creature.

 

She is the woman you see in the store who always wears a smile on her face

She is the girl who never gives up because she believes in the virtue of every human

She is the woman who gives more than she should

She is a girl who is lost and stuck.

 

He was once the star quarterback who had a promising future

He is the guy who looses his temper

He was the boy who lost it all

He is the guy who sits on the couch doing nothing but living on the elixir of whiskey

He was the guy who said he knew how to treat a woman

He is the guy who looses control for the fear of no control

He is the guy who blames her for everything he has ever lost and what he will loose

His red hands of hate now only define who he will ever be.

 

She looks out the mirror of a house that feels more like a prison

Through the darkness she is still able to see the beauty of life

The moonlight illuminates the night, the stars twinkle, and the crickets sing a

Melodic tune that make it a midsummer dream, whisking her off to another whimsical land.

Through the midst of the woods and the glimmer of the moon, she sees the most striking creature.

“Is that a nightingale?” she asks herself.

She has never seen one in real life; she has only heard that their singing is one of the most glorious sounds one can hear.

She is amazed that this little creature has come upon her windowsill, and started

Singing a melodic tune, that transports her anywhere from where she is.

She needed this nightingale; she needed to remind herself that she could no longer be a victim.

With a twinkle of a star, she packed her bags and sneaked out the door by the very tips of her toes.

Her nightingale was her sanity, her new home, and with the help of her new friend she flew away from the lions nest.

With the moon as her protector and the stars as her guide, she never looked back.”

-NewBeautyGuru

My favorite Band ever: The 1975 (I would literally post every song up if I could haha)

Image Credit: impfashion.com

NYFW Diane von Fürstenburg (Recap)

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Formerly Princess Diane of Fürstenburg, the Belgian born designer is known for the iconic wrap dress. For me, she is known for having some seriously killer style! Her Spring 2015 collection is inspired by the 1950’s French Rivera, which is represented as cheerful and yet simple. I never really enjoy much of runway fashion because it is not practical to wear for the everyday woman, and let’s face it, there are some pretty crazy pieces of clothes out there. (Don’t forget to check out her new show on E! ) I always try to break the looks down and see if  part of the outfit would work in an everyday look. So I will attach the pieces of clothing that seems most practical. So keep an open mind and let your creativity flow. Enjoy!

Au Revoir,

NewBeautyGuru

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80’s Throwback

If anyone knows me they know I love the 80’s. (Well almost everyone knows). This post was supposed to be published a while ago, but of course it did not happen. Sorry! I wanted to do this post because I was watching a movie called Just One of the Guys, and I had my next inspiration. I mean, what’s not to love about the 80’s?

If you did not already know 80’s fashion has made quite a comeback in today’s fashion. When someone walks down the street you can pinpoint it. Is it safe to say the 80’s are back? Not quite. It will probably never be the 80’s again, but we can try to make it even better. Enough of this chit chat, let’s move on to the fashion.

 

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Can you smell the 80’s yet? The jean jacket with the studs is 80’s enough, but it does not stop there. Leather shorts and a cool t-shirt…Just take me back already. With fall coming up this could also be a good transition piece. Swap out the leather shorts for leather pants.

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I am sure we all have seen this during the summer. Did you think it was 80’s fashion? Well, it was. High waisted jean shorts were definitely in this summer, and with a simple unused shirt to tie around as a belt, you were tapping into your inner 80’s.

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This is one of my favorite looks, and Cher Lloyd pulls it off with so much edge and grace. I love her little British self! If you did not see the 80’s in her hair, earrings, jacket, shirt, necklace, pants, and bandana, you are blind. Point. Blank. Period. This is also another piece that can transition into the fall, just add more layers as needed. Any of these looks could be easily transitioned into the fall.

 

Anyone miss Saved By the Bell? I know it isn’t really considered 80’s but I miss it.

 

 

Who wants to know what I’ve been listening to?

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HDdjwpPM3Y

Country Lovin’

There’s nothing that I love more than a good country concert. It let’s me know that summer is officially here. If you have never been to a country concert,  have you been living under a rock? The atmosphere is just indescribable. Parking lots are full of tailgaters cooking, drinking, and having an incredible time. For most the drinking gets out of hand, but who doesn’t find enjoyment laughing at the drunk guy who can’t produce a single sentence without slurring his words. IDK I just find drunk people at concerts so hilarious. But I have to say out of all the concerts I’ve been to, the people are so much nicer at country concerts. Maybe it’s the alcohol consuming them, but it doesn’t matter, everyone like enjoyable and nice people right?

I’ve been to countless concerts, but unfortunately this year I will probably not be attending any 😦 If only concerts didn’t cost money. The best concerts I’ve been to were probably the ones where I had the best seats and got to meet the performers. I’ve met Drake White (upcoming country artist), Kip Moore, touched hands with Brad Paisley! I was in the sixth row of the Demi Lavato concert with Little Mix and Fifth Harmony and I met Collins Key, what a great and tall guy! Well enough of my bragging 🙂

I think more people need to appreciate country music and stop listening to all that rap! (No offense). But seriously go out and try new things you will not regret it! I will leave you with two country songs that I currently love and have loved I have seen one of these guys in concert where he was amazing. (Chris Young).

Love,

NewBeautyGuru

Alexander Wang

 Blogger: NanysKlozet

It seems as though celebrities are always on point with the latest fashion trends. But I’ll let you in on a little secret…the public is in on it too! Some fashionista’s may not be able to afford the designer labels, but heck, I think the knock off’s are always a little better. You don’t need to be rich to have the “rich look”.

In the first photo above, Alexander Wang’s shirt costs a whopping $995, I do not know about you but I am not willing to pay that much for a shirt that will probably be hard to clean and maintain, as it is white. If you have the means to do so, go for it!

This shirt is the perfect pairing for any casual look, while being hipster, with a hint of class. Bloggers, including myself, love this outfit. This is pictured perfectly by NanysKlozet because it is the perfect way to show off our style, while not overdoing it and overwhelming a bunch of people. I also believe that the shirt in the picture is not by Alexander Wang, but I am not sure. Although you can’t really tell a difference. Maybe that’s why it is hard to figure out! lol.

Another trend that I have seen with most celebrities is the #allwhite look. Most notably on Khloe Kardashian, in the same Alexander Wang shirt. All white adds an overall freshness to your outfit, and raises the bar for an understated elegant look. I encourage you to try out this outfit and let me know what you think. Remember it’s not about how much money you have, but the style that can come with it! Fake it until you make it!!

Kisses,

NewBeautyGuru

SINCERELY JULES- FASHION BLOGGER OF THE DAY

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I am in love with this whole look for spring. Who said fashion can’t be comfy and chic? The clothing may be simple but the accessories give it the extra pizzazz and life to the whole ensemble. I would wear this outfit whenever I get the chance to, it reminds me of where I want to go on vaca this summer. It reminds me of Nashville! Don’t ask lol. I just feel that in Nashville the style is very laid back, but there’s also a twist to anyone’s outfit. I would probably wear this when it is not completely hot out because the jean jacket might make it hotter. Definitely wear this for a cool night out on the town with some friends. But I absolutely j’adore this look. Great look Sincerely Jules!

Prom 2k14

This past Saturday I encountered the best night of my life thus far. PROM!!! If you have ever been to prom you know what I am talking about. I was not expecting it to be so amazing, but I fully embraced the experience. It was a night in “The Phantom of the Opera”. The decor was on point, and there were crystals all over the tables. I even managed to take a centerpiece home and some beautiful champagne glasses. I mean diamonds are a girls best best friend, too bad they were not real! (I would have taken more  🙂 ) lol. I decided to share my night the only way I know how, through the pictures. The night was full of dancing, laughter, and fun! I could not have asked for a better night with wonderful people and good friends. Love you all ❤

Kisses,

NewBeautyGuru

(I went with a chiffon dress because I am a fuller figure, and a girl has got to have her bling so I have those touches throughout. I absolutely loved my purse for the night!) I hope you enjoy and see who I really am through my pics. I think there’s a saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

Check out my instagram to see some videos of the night: @Crystal967

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