Anxiety and Depression, Study Abroad

I know it has taken me a long time to write another post. The truth is I felt like giving up on this. I could not find any words to share because I had lost hope and inspiration. I found myself disinterested in many other daily activities. I would just stay home and feel sorry for myself. I knew something was wrong, but I did not know what. I was too scared to face it and I did not want to face it. Relationships I had were just things in the past. It was hard to keep friendships because I did not want to talk to anyone and I knew they would not understand. I felt alone even though I was not.

I needed to wake up and take my life back, but I just did not know how. I would not say I have my life back but I am trying to wake up as best as I can. I knew if I did not do anything the most important relationships I still had would truly suffer.

I would no longer sleep well during the night, I was waking up several times. I would wake up early no longer able to sleep in. Anxiety about going to class, running into people, etc. Lack of interest in everything. Did not want to watch anything, read anything, write anything, did not want to work, go to school, and did not want to be outside. There were moments where I was really happy then I would get extremely mad or irritated. Constantly going through thoughts in my head which drove me crazy. This is just a slight picture of what I was going through.

It was really hard when I went to study abroad in London. It was my dream to go there for as long as I could remember. As soon as I got there it was extremely hard and I knew it was for everyone, but I knew myself and how it was probably going to go. I tried my best to talk to the other people there even though they thought I was just quiet. The thing is I wanted to talk, I wanted to be best friends with everyone there, and I just stopped myself because of myself. I wish that those friendships lasted because we all had a great time together when we were out. There were many times I was so happy to be there and to be there with great people. But after classes stopped I isolated myself and I don’t know what the others thought when I was just in my room. I was not trying to be rude, I just made myself more depressed than I already was. I wish I would’ve gone out and asked everyone what they were doing so I would be included, but I just sat there. I wish they would’ve said something to me too, but it was me dealing with me. I miss London now, I wish I could do it all over again, but I did learn a lot. I needed to wake up. To all my flat mates I love you girlies, you hold a special place in my heart and memories. We experienced a lot together. Thank you for making my birthday as special as it could be when I was sick and so far from home. I will never forget you guys.

The first step was going to see someone and admitting I had a serious problem. I was extremely nervous going into that first therapy session. I had become very closed off and it was difficult to talk about myself. But it was freeing to talk to someone who did not know me and did not judge me. In the end I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It did not come as a shock to me. I had dealt with anxiety before. I thought I had a handle on it but I guess I was wrong.

So I am in therapy, I try to go to the gym as much as I can, I try to eat better and be better. Living with these diseases is a struggle, but God gave me this challenge for a reason. I am going to live as best as I can and get the life I always wanted back. I hope you will continue on this journey with me. I am sorry to the people who think I forgot them. I love you all!

With all my love,



Time for the Holiday’s!!!


The Holiday’s is a time to gather with your families and reminisce about the past, live in the present, and dream about the future. It’s a time when families can come together for this one moment and forget about the struggles and pain they have caused each other throughout the year or years. No one is ever perfect and we all make mistakes but that is  what makes us human and that is why we all need to come clean, and try to create a new slate. It is better to tell the truth and face what happens, then to feel guilty for years to come.

My favorite part about the holiday’s is the music, the people, food, feeling cozy, and more food!:) lol. I love how each year I go to each side of my families Christmas parties. Each family has their own traditions. My mom’s side of the family gets together and we open presents on Christmas Eve, while my Dad’s side of the family waits for Christmas morning, and then we all gather at my Uncle’s house. It’s these moments I will remember when I am off to college next year. But I will probably come back home for the holiday’s, or start my own traditions and invite them where I am.

New Year’s Eve is coming up and I am very excited about 2014!! I will be graduating in June and then I am off to the big scary world lol :)! I am thinking I want to end up in New York rather than London right now, but I will see what the best decision is. With another new year approaching, it is time for resolutions. My resolution is to follow my passion wherever it takes me, and to be at one with myself.

I hope your holiday is filled with your loved one’s, joy, and happiness. To all military families and servicemen and women, I truly thank you for all you do. The holiday’s are sometimes a stressful moment, as I know myself as I used to have my mom in the military, thanks to everyone.

All my love,


Music song of the day:

The Mighty Fall-Fall Out Boy

I love Fall Out Boy, one of my favorite Rock Bands.

Makeup in my photo above:

Image 2

Most of my makeup is comprised of Benefit cosmetics. I love these products! I recently bought this product and I am in love with it. Have you ever had those little pores that you want to look smooth and flawless? Well this is the product for you. All of benefits products are a bit on the expensive side if you are on a budget, but it is worth it, and it will last for a while.

Price: $30

Image 1

Now I did not use this in the look above, but this is the only eyeshadow palette I use at the time. It is great for a smoky eye look, or something natural. It is more of the bronze color look. It is a must have. When I use this palate I also pair it with the Urban Decay Primer, for a lasting look all day.

Price: $52, on the Urban Decay Cosmetic Website

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Boi-ing! I love this concealer! I recently started using this product and of course I am in love. Although, I am in love with all the products I am featuring:) I am shade 01, I am the lightest shade. When you first open it, it seems like it would be sticky, or have a gummy texture, but it doesn’t. I goes on nice and smooth and covers up those dark circles under eyes. It is another must have!

Price: $20, I also get most of my products at Ulta

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Rimmel London’s Glam’eyes Professional Liquid Eyeliner. This liner is something I have had my ups and downs with. You need to make sure that you have a really steady hand or you will mess up and have to start over. But I have to say it lasts for a long time, and doesn’t smudge much if you have the right primer. Although I have had trouble with this product, I will still continue to use it because once you get it perfect, it looks great!

Price: About $5.99

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This is another benefit product. (Don’t you just love the cute packaging?) This is the powder I use along with the matching foundation below. I have been told while using this that I have porcelain skin, which is what every woman wants to hear. It does not feel to heavy on the skin and is very Flawless. I would recommend buying this alongside the foundation. If you are the lightest shade like me, I would recommend using the Ivory shade, “I love me”. Benefit has these cute little sayings on their products.

Price: $34

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This is by far my favorite foundation in shade Ivory, “I’m pure 4 sure”. It has a yellowish tint to it, but it blends really well. When I first used it I definitely noticed a difference from the foundation I was wearing before, Clinique‘s Even Better. I instantly felt the oxygen flowing from my face as strange as it sounds. It feels so light and fresh and it is build able. It’s oil free and SPF 25. If you don’t go and get anything else, just go and get this with the powder, you will not regret it! (Well, I hope you won’t:)! lol )

Price: $36

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If you shop at Ulta like me, you know that for certain purchases you get samples of products or gifts. This is something I received when I bought my benefit products. It is Smashbox’s Photo Finish Lid Primer. I did not have high hopes for it, but it is the best primer I have used. If you want the natural eye look with some liner, like in my photo, this is great for you. I absolutely love it and will have to get the actual product soon, not the sample.

Price: $20 7

This is something I recently received just the other day. I wanted to have a lipstick that didn’t dry out my lips and was not too dark. I feel like I can’t rock bold colors, but Clinique’s Chubby Stick in Super Strawberry is just perfect. It is red with a slight pink tint and moisturizing. I will be wearing this for a while!

Price: $17

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This is the blush I use from benefit and it comes on as a light pinkish red. It goes with almost any look. I love it, it gives that angel flawless glow.

Price: $28

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Last but not least my mascara from benefit. Yes ladies and gents those are my real lashes thanks to this mascara. I have nothing else to say, go buy it, it is amazing!

Price: $23

I hope you enjoyed! Now go indulge yourself for the holidays’s or buy these amazing products for your loved one’s.

Reign The CW

Reign The CW

Has anyone else watched this show? I am in love with Toby Regbo as Francis and all of the fashions. I can say nothing bad about this new series, I watched the first episode at least 2 times, and I don’t like reading or watching things I have seen before. Reign is just perfection.

The picture I have attached is my most loved outfit of Mary’s (Adelaide Kane) thus far, it is simple yet classic and timeless. I actually don’t know what else to write right now, I just love everything on the show, can you tell? Well, actually I might be able to share some of the songs that really intrigued me.


Enjoy! And if you have not watched the show before, watch it, you will not regret it!!

The Crop Top

The Crop Top

I had a different pic for this post and it would not load, but if you want to see where the outfit is from get it here:

But I also love this outfit don’t get me wrong. I have seen the crop top around everywhere from celebs to some friends. It seems like it was the latest fashion trend during the summer and can transition into the fall, pairing with some heavier clothing. You can tell I love union jack inspired clothing and which is why I went with this outfit, this can also be worn at a trendy job, or whatever job if it goes with your company’s dress code. It can also be perfect for a night out on the town. I think crop tops are definitely in trend and can go with almost anything, so I see this look being reinvented for every season. Enjoy!

If you have not read my post about ReThink Reality go read it and buy their things or keep updated for new products:)!!

I Can’t Stop Blogging!

When I heard blogging was addictive, I never believed it until now. I feel like I can really be who I am on here.

This video is something I have been listening to ever since it came out. I have loved Ellie Goulding for a while, her voice is so unique and her songs always bring something new to the table. Listen…put on Repeat…Repeat and get on board with Ellie!!

Kyla La Grange

This london based singer/songwriter sounds a lot like a mix of Florence and The Machine and Lana Del Ray, what a combo! But she actually sounds quite better. I am just loving everything british, I see a trip to london in the future. Maybe I’ll go study there for a semester when I’m in college. Yes! That’s what I’ll do. What if I don’t come back? lol. Get up and listen to the mystical voice of Kyla La Grange!

Let’s Talk About London Again! PINS Addition

Let's Talk About London Again!

Funky art…Donuts…Donuts…more Donuts and Food! This london artist is not afraid to be original and different, and he’s recognized for it to. He’s won some awards to, what a big shot! lol
Arts Council England, £20,000 grant, ‘Be Creative, Live well’ project
UUFA Clothing Customiser of The Year
Turns out he has a pretty impressive client list too. Some big shots clients are Usher, Kelly Rowland, Cheryl Cole, BT, urban outfitters, etc. Just to name a few, its no big deal. lol, but yea it’s pretty impressive.
He gets his inspiration from footwear,life and food (mostly donuts)! Who doesn’t love a good donut. Why didn’t I think of that? No, but seriously check out his stuff and show him some love.

Everyone Needs To Be NICCE Once in A While

Everyone Needs To Be NICCE Once in A While

I came across this clothing line on my instagram, and I was not disappointed. Their stuff is something different and edgy, it gives the customer a chance to pair the clothes with whatever they desire. If you are going for a grungy look this is for you, if you are looking for a girly look with a kick, yup its for you. They’re london based, so why not give them a try, they might be invading us with more fashion soon!

Check it out here:

British Takeover

British Takeover

Has anyone else caught British fever like I have? Lately it’s been all about 1D, The Wanted, the latest Royal news, and the list goes on and on. But are the British here to stay, or should they go home?

I myself have loved everything with a union jack flag lately. My wallpaper on my computer is union jack, I have pillows that are London inspired, and even clothes! Talk about another British invasion.

Clothes, Clothes, Clothes! Every store I go to, boom! union jack flag on anything. This trend is something I love, and a lot of other people enjoy themselves. The look goes with whatever someone is trying to pull off. I don’t see this trend descending anytime soon, and why should it?

Music, who doesn’t love music? I know Americans started going crazy once 1D came into the limelight. So is this what started the craze, or was it bound to happen? The British have been around for a while and this was not their first takeover. Can anyone say The Beatles? Who could forget them, they were a big deal back in the day. So can we say bands like 1D, The Wanted, The Saturdays, and The 1975 will continue to take us by storm? Only time will tell.

In the meantime, we love those accents just as much as the next person, and who could forget the great edge they bring in style to America, or whatever country! In my book the British can overstay their welcome, as long as they keep refreshing us with their fashion, music, and charms!