lifestyle

Anxiety and Depression, Study Abroad

I know it has taken me a long time to write another post. The truth is I felt like giving up on this. I could not find any words to share because I had lost hope and inspiration. I found myself disinterested in many other daily activities. I would just stay home and feel sorry for myself. I knew something was wrong, but I did not know what. I was too scared to face it and I did not want to face it. Relationships I had were just things in the past. It was hard to keep friendships because I did not want to talk to anyone and I knew they would not understand. I felt alone even though I was not.

I needed to wake up and take my life back, but I just did not know how. I would not say I have my life back but I am trying to wake up as best as I can. I knew if I did not do anything the most important relationships I still had would truly suffer.

I would no longer sleep well during the night, I was waking up several times. I would wake up early no longer able to sleep in. Anxiety about going to class, running into people, etc. Lack of interest in everything. Did not want to watch anything, read anything, write anything, did not want to work, go to school, and did not want to be outside. There were moments where I was really happy then I would get extremely mad or irritated. Constantly going through thoughts in my head which drove me crazy. This is just a slight picture of what I was going through.

It was really hard when I went to study abroad in London. It was my dream to go there for as long as I could remember. As soon as I got there it was extremely hard and I knew it was for everyone, but I knew myself and how it was probably going to go. I tried my best to talk to the other people there even though they thought I was just quiet. The thing is I wanted to talk, I wanted to be best friends with everyone there, and I just stopped myself because of myself. I wish that those friendships lasted because we all had a great time together when we were out. There were many times I was so happy to be there and to be there with great people. But after classes stopped I isolated myself and I don’t know what the others thought when I was just in my room. I was not trying to be rude, I just made myself more depressed than I already was. I wish I would’ve gone out and asked everyone what they were doing so I would be included, but I just sat there. I wish they would’ve said something to me too, but it was me dealing with me. I miss London now, I wish I could do it all over again, but I did learn a lot. I needed to wake up. To all my flat mates I love you girlies, you hold a special place in my heart and memories. We experienced a lot together. Thank you for making my birthday as special as it could be when I was sick and so far from home. I will never forget you guys.

The first step was going to see someone and admitting I had a serious problem. I was extremely nervous going into that first therapy session. I had become very closed off and it was difficult to talk about myself. But it was freeing to talk to someone who did not know me and did not judge me. In the end I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It did not come as a shock to me. I had dealt with anxiety before. I thought I had a handle on it but I guess I was wrong.

So I am in therapy, I try to go to the gym as much as I can, I try to eat better and be better. Living with these diseases is a struggle, but God gave me this challenge for a reason. I am going to live as best as I can and get the life I always wanted back. I hope you will continue on this journey with me. I am sorry to the people who think I forgot them. I love you all!

With all my love,

Meghann

That’s So 2014!

It’s hard to believe that 2014 is over and 2015 is ready for some great, new, and exciting memories. 2014 was a particularly hard year to get over because so many great things happened in my life. I graduated high school, started college, and made such great and new friends who I know are my soul sisters. I’m currently watching Sex and the City, and I honestly can see that great friendship with all of my girls. You know who you all are! I can’t help but wonder if 2015 is going to be as amazing as 2014, but I’m not going to dwell on the past. I’m going to make 2015 as great as it can be, who’s with me!?

Lately, I have not had an inspiring things to write about because I really needed to evaluate if I wanted to pursue writing still. I was at a point where I wanted to just give up, but writing has always been my second love. I could not see my life without pursuing my dream and if it does not work out, I’ll be happy that I even tried. But, I am getting way too far ahead in planning out my life. I guess it’s the woman in me. Why is it that women always have to be such planners? But then again, if women were not planners, what would the world look like? I do not even want to visualize it lol.

I hate that I hardy even update this blog anymore, I know I let a lot of people down, and I honestly do not like to make excuses. I am currently writing this on my vacation because my readers, you, deserve it. I honestly am so grateful that people even read my blog. I never could have imagined that I would have more than a couple readers, which would probably be my friends, in which I would force them to read it haha. But I wouldn’t be NewBeautyGuru if I did not leave you guessing where I went lol. I also think it is good to get out and enjoy life and not be stuck looking at a computer screen for long periods of time. I have been trying to disconnect with the digital world for a little bit and it is nice for a while. But of course I will never fully disconnect. I mean, who could?

So enough with the updates and on to what I think I do best haha. The Golden Globes were on this past Sunday and I was totally checking out everyone from head to toe. I mean the Golden Globes are honestly best when it is just about the fashion, let’s be real lol. So let’s take a look at my top 3 favorite fashions of the night!

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Gina Rodriguez. I am so proud of this girl right here. She is the star of one of my favorite TheCW shows, Jane The Virgin, and she won a Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series. Most people do not get it right on the red carpet, but I just love this simple black look. I would gravitate for something like this myself.

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Does Emma Stone get it wrong ever? Some might say this is too simple of a look, but it is still so elegant and beautiful. I would wear this in a heartbeat. Why should women never be comfortable on the red carpet? This is just amaze-ball-azing!!

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Kate Hudson honestly just takes my breath away. I mean how hot, sleek, elegant, and confident does she look? Just perfection!

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Now Melissa McCarthy does not make my best dressed list, but I just need to really congratulate her! I mean I am so proud of her amazing weight loss! I would love her funny self either way, but how much more confident does she look in herself? For me, as long as you love yourself, there’s no one who will ever bring you down because you are freakin’ awesome. One can change the outside appearance as much as they want, but what makes you, you, will never change. We love you Melissa! What an inspiration.

I’m ready to make 2015 another year to remember. Here’s to taking chances, falling in love, surrounding ourselves with amazing people, and maybe hitting the gym! (If you’re into that of course haha). But let it be known, I love you and everyone just the way they are. I hope I did not offend anyone at all in this post. So let’s raise a glass to 2015 and make 2014 jealous! Soon we’ll be saying “That was so 2014!”

Kisses,

NewBeautyGuru

                      xoxo

“Fashion in the Age of Instagram”

I have not been posting lately, but I felt like I needed to today. One of my dream jobs is to work in the City and become a famous journalist. This may or may not happen, but that is why I will always keep dreaming, and working towards my dreams. I would love to work at The New York Times as a fashion or music journalist, it would just be so cool. I decided to read a bit of The New York Times today and wanted to share an article I really enjoyed. I do not take any credit, I just want to share the news:) I assume you already know the title of the piece, since it is the title of this post. I hope you enjoy!! 🙂

                        Fashion in the Age of Instagram By:Matthew Schneier

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In the Dries Van Noten exhibition at the Musée des Arts Décoratifs in Paris is a video that stitches together sequences from 20 years of his runway shows — a “supercut,” in online argot. On a tour of the show not long ago, Mr. Van Noten nodded along as memorable moments flashed: male models pedaling bicycles, women stalking the length of an enormous dinner table. But what stood out most were the ghostly points of light illuminating the audience’s faces in the recent shows.

It was, Mr. Van Noten said, their smartphones.

The professional photographers on the risers facing the runways now represent only a fraction of those furiously jockeying to document each outfit, accessory and bit of set dressing. Nearly every show attendee, from the front row to the standing section, now arrives with phone in hand and Instagram account primed.
So unremarkable is a smartphone camera in every hand, said Danielle Sherman, the creative director of Edun, that when she commissioned a director and a fleet of 20 borrowed iPhone 5s to create a video of her fall 2014 show, hardly an eyebrow was raised. “No one said anything or questioned it, or even noticed it,” she said.

 

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This is fashion in the age of Instagram, a heady era in which digital media is changing the way clothes are presented and even the way they are designed. As shows are calibrated to be socially shared experiences, and fashion itself is rejiggered to catch eyes on a two-dimensional screen, some skeptics wonder what is being lost or sacrificed as fashion becomes grist for the digital mill.

Beyond question, the advent of digital media has fundamentally altered fashion, the designer Alexander Wang said: “The way that we shoot it, the way that we showcase it and the way that we make the clothes and design them changed.”

Digital media has also changed the way fashion is reported, consumed and shared. Trade papers and websites that once held court as the home of collection coverage have had their turf invaded by individuals. “I see the shows on Instagram now,” said Eva Chen, the editor in chief of Lucky.

“In some sense, every single person in the audience is their own media outlet,” said Keith Baptista, the managing partner of Prodject, the creative agency that produces runway shows for clients like Mr. Wang, Giorgio Armani and Ralph Lauren. “They’re all capturing these moments in this live experience to tell their own stories.” (Consider that Ms. Chen, for instance, currently has more followers on Instagram than her magazine does.)

Creating a unique — and, by extension, shareable — experience for jaded showgoers has become part of a designer’s mandate. Shows are designed to wow not only those in attendance, but also all of their followers. (That could be considered a necessary return on investment because, according to Julie Mannion, the president for creative services at the public relations and production firm KCD, a major show can cost $2 million to $8 million, in some cases reaching as much as $10 million, and last fewer than 10 minutes.)

Few shows can compete with Chanel’s for over-the-top theatrics. But the company set a higher bar for itself in February, when it erected a Costco-size supermarket stocked with some 100,000 Chanel-customized faux products. (The hams in the meat case, for example, had labels printed Jambon Cambon, a nod to the street on which Chanel maintains offices and a store.)

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Before the show, spectators goggled through the aisles, taking supermarket selfies before the models, pushing shopping carts down the runway, filled their baskets. It was the show that launched 1,000 Instagrams, with “likes” in similar proportion: a photo from Susanna Lau, a.k.a. the blogger Susie Bubble, received more than 2,670, more than double that of many of the other shows she snapped; one by Ms. Chen had 2,330, several hundred more than the several others in close Insta-proximity.

The fervor was such that the collection itself was somewhat eclipsed. (Perhaps aware of the attention the mise-en-scène garnered at the expense of its fashion, Chanel declined to speak about its sets.)

It is not only the richest labels that think big. Mr. Wang has earned a reputation for social-media-friendly spectacles. In February, his show closed with robotic-looking models rotating on a platform as blasts of heat changed the color of their thermo-sensitive garments, a moment tailor-made for Instagram. “We try to think of the pictures that are going to come out online,” he said, “what the photographer pit takes versus what the audience sees.”

The picture, Mr. Wang added, is “something we always take into deep consideration, even developing a collection. Sometimes, I have to admit, as a designer, you get into this trap of thinking about clothes for a picture rather than what’s going to go into the market or showroom.”

The attention now paid to digital extends beyond scenography and staging. It has crept in, say designers and critics, to the design of many collections. Tiziana Cardini, the fashion director of the Milanese department store chain La Rinascente and a contributing editor at Italian Vogue, has noticed the change.

“Fashion has become bi-dimensional,” she said. “It’s just flat. I see that designers, especially young designers, are considering the shapes and volumes in a totally different way; the colors, also. I think they pay much more attention to the photogenic value of an outfit.” Asked why, she replied, “It’s the web, definitely, that has changed the language.”

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Young editors, too, have been conditioned to think of fashion in the flat plane of the digital screen.

“What concerns me is the generational shift,” said Ed Filipowski, the president for media relations at KCD. “So much of the younger generation does not look at the clothes for the first time with their eyes. They’re trained to see clothes for the first time through photographs, two-dimensional as opposed to three-dimensional.”

(Was it this tendency that Rei Kawakubo, the Delphic savant of Comme des Garçons, was satirizing — or celebrating — in her fall 2012 collection, which consisted of felt garments flattened like paper dolls’ clothes? “The future is two dimensions,” was her explanation of the show.)

Both Mr. Filipowski and Ms. Cardini noted that the shift they have described is not necessarily a negative one. KCD, in fact, has implemented video “digital fashion shows” that exist only online, though Mr. Filipowski said that these are not meant to replace the traditional show.

The changes wrought by the flat screen do come with potential downsides. Though several designers mentioned the ability of Instagrammers to capture a garment at more angles than before, intricacies of cut and construction can vanish when reduced to two dimensions. Shows that may be gripping live may be done little justice on-screen. Junya Watanabe’s fall collection, all in black (notoriously hard to photograph), was composed of pieces of many fabrics sewn together to create a patchwork. On-screen, the nuances often failed to come through. Couture, relying as it does on minute handwork, may suffer even more. “People can’t see what couture is very well on a computer screen,” Raf Simons of Dior complained to Interview.

Online ubiquity can also result in overexposure and copycatting. Phoebe Philo of Céline restricts photography, refusing to allow attendees to shoot smartphone pictures at some of her presentations and supplying news media outlets with her own photos only when the collections arrive in stores. In 2010, Tom Ford took a similar tack by barring photographers and cellphones — the news media protested — when he showed his first runway collection in years.

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Tellingly, Mr. Ford eventually gave in. His recent shows during London Fashion Week were seen online as most shows are — which is to say, in their entirety, nearly instantaneously.

While some labels still attempt to curb access — “There are brands that actually will block cellphone and data signals during shows,” said Mr. Baptista, the producer, declining to name names — most willingly accept that the genie is out of the bottle, digitally speaking.

There are, after all, positive gains as well as potential drawbacks.

The London designer Mary Katrantzou has been aware of the possibilities of showing work online since her student days at Central Saint Martins. After she made a collection that included several bustles, she recalled Louise Wilson, the outspoken director of the school’s master’s program, bellowing: “The front, Mary! You only see the front on Style.com!”

Her brilliant prints and color palette, like that of many in her generation, may have been affected by the digital space, as Ms. Cardini suggests, but Ms. Katrantzou credits it for making her work stand out from the crowd on the web, effectively giving her an advantage over those designers who aren’t attuned to the online palatability of their wares.

The digital world can also open a more direct line of communication between designers and their fans than was previously possible. “I want to share with people,” said the dedicated Instagrammer Riccardo Tisci, the creative director of Givenchy, during a recent visit to New York. Mr. Tisci prefers to use the medium to share not necessarily his clothes, but the inspirations behind them, like the Giò Ponti architecture and design that influenced a recent pre-fall collection. “In Ukraine, a girl who doesn’t know who is Giò Ponti” likes the collection “and doesn’t know how I get to that,” he said. “To see the beginning of the story is quite beautiful. I think Instagram, if you use it in the right way, it’s a positive.”

Designers are not the only ones embracing the freedom offered digitally. The stylist Carlyne Cerf de Dudzeele, a fixture in the industry, now hosts a YouTube show and is Instagramming merrily. Though she has worked with photographers like Peter Lindbergh and Steven Meisel, she recently took matters into her own hands for a fashion story in System magazine. Every photo was, as the opening page made clear, “Shot with my iPhone.”

Her prefatory note enthused: “New World / No Retouching, No Assistant / No Budget, No Brainstorming, No Moodboard / Heaven!!!”

And crucially for designers, in the new world, any phone can be an instant till. When Ms. Katrantzou introduced e-commerce on her website, she Instagrammed a photo of an embellished minidress called the Midnight Chrysa to her followers. It is “an imposing dress,” she said, which costs $8,680. She sold three that day.

 

 

What Goes On In My Head…

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Today, as I was watching some of my favorite TV shows with my mom, I started wondering off in my own mind. Thinking about my past and how it has brought me to the beginning of my future. I decided that I am going to stay close to home, where I currently live, and attend the University of Connecticut, Go Huskies!! Actually I will be getting my own apartment, I can’t wait to blog about that! I am so thrilled about this new journey I am about to face. I cannot believe in a few months I will be a college student 🙂

I have gone through a lot in my past. Bullying has been a big part of that. People made me feel like I was not worth it, they made me feel horrible about myself, and I got to a point where I almost started believing them. For some time I kept running away from my problems, but I knew I could never really run away from something that still was haunting me. I don’t want this post to be some sob story but more of a motivation and inspiration to some. Up until high school, bullying, was always there. I was never pretty enough or skinny enough, but did that even really matter anymore? High school has been a blessing in  my eyes, it has opened my heart to new experiences and cultures, and most of all I started to find myself. I have friends who accept me for who I am, who believe in bigger and better things for me. How have I been so lucky?

Since my past has left a scar on my heart, today I asked myself if the great things that are all coming together now, is something that I deserve. I almost had to slap myself to get that thought out of my head. I deserve to feel HAPPY, WORTHY, and DESERVING of everything that is coming my way. I have worked my butt off, not literally, yet 🙂 But in all sincerity, I can be my own worst enemy, but look where I am. Most people don’t make it as far as I have gotten and I am truly grateful. I have opened my heart to a new spiritual journey with none other that God himself, which I think has made me realize that I am worthy of what I receive. If you do not believe in God, it is okay, I don’t want to persuade you to believe in anything you do not want to, but I am just revealing more of who I am. Over the past couple of weeks he has shown me to forgive the people who have hurt me, and they might even be reading this post. I am willing to move on because I am at a point in my life where I do not want to look back at my past and be filled with hatred towards others, it just is not healthy. I am a lover not a fighter 🙂

The picture I have attached to this post is truly what I want each and every one of you’s to do. Yes I did purposely use the word you’s, wait, is that even a word? Well…whatever, it fit what I was trying to do. Which was trying to lighten the mood a little bit. You must be glad you came inside my head for just a while, huh? lol. (That was meant to be a tad sarcastic, and a bit of a metaphor, haha). Be HAPPY!! What makes me happy is writing and making others happy, I hope you all truly grasp that. This blog is supposed to be a mixture of who I am with a twist of fashion and music mixed in. I have not been good at keeping y’all updated, but you know I always come back. It breaks my heart if I am not able to write something for all of you. I pledge to try and keep you all happy, if you all pledge to be happy and stay strong in whatever is bringing you down because you will get through it, heck! I did 🙂 I hope you enjoyed reading this rant and I might be doing this type of writing more often, so keep posted, comment and like it up:)!!

With much love always,

NewBeautyGuru

Simply Comfy Chic!!

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Channel your inner fashion side by rocking this just put together look. There’s no doubt that pastel colors are in right now, they have been seen on the runway from Sonia Rykiel to Christian Dior. Who knew that these simple colors could add some chic-ness to our everyday looks? Yes I did make up my own new word, chic-ness, I hope nobody has said that before 🙂  This outfit is the evolution of, “OMG I WANT WHAT YOU’RE WEARING!!” Can anyone say Holy Bubblegum? Bubblegum WoW! This jacket adds the right amount of pop to this outfit, it reminds me of the yellow/mustard colored,Olivia Pope designed, Kim K jacket that I absolutely loved on her, except this is simply pink!

Anyone remember the Pink Ladies from Grease. I love that movie, but when you think about it, it reminds you of the Pink Ladies right?

The grey sweater just adds the perfect amount of color to contrast with the bubblegum coat. Who says you cannot wear white jeans in January? White jeans make this outfit look simply put together, and for a “monochrome match” add a pair of white converse to “elongate the legs.” Converse can almost pair with anything. My next purchase is a pair, it’s crazy to think I don’t have them in my closet. I would also keep the bag a neutral color like the one in the picture so it does not overdo the whole look.

Hope you enjoyed!

Oh! Before I forget I have some exciting news to share, I got accepted to the college I wanted in England! How cool is that! I am ready for a great year, love you all 🙂

In the picture: Oasap Coat, Mango Jeans, Zara Sweater, Converse sneakers

Love,

NewBeautyGuru

 

If you are into great deals on fashion check out stylemined.com they are often on extra promoting different deals. I snagged myself a bag and some sunnies, what will you get?

Shall I compare…

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Eyes of hazel, hair of gold, heart of purity.
Shall I say I love thee?

On darkest of nights, you bring me light.
You compel me to voice the truth.
How can you bring me out of my darkest daze?
Shall I say I love thee?

Love is blind, but yet I see clearly.
Love is crazy, but that is joy.
I do not care what others say,
Shall I say I love thee?

Your imperfections make me see your beauty even more.
How can we be so opposite, but so right?
You reveal your soul; in return I give you mine.
Shall I say I love thee?

In the midst of our stormy fights, our love perseveres.
On the sunniest of days our love shines through.
Our love is a wondrous roller coaster, something I never want to end.
Love never dies even in hardship.
One never knows the definition of love,
But our love is something we cannot deny.
Love is the feeling you get when you never want to leave its side, your lover’s side.
Love is the mystery you start to unravel.
Love is the willingness to keep it alive and well.
Love waits because it is never too late.
My love is you.
I can say I love thee.

So I thought I’d change up my new post. This is a poem that I wrote for my English class, it had to start of with the first line. Hint, Hint, my English class is about Shakespeare this year and I absolutely love it. I know this is not perfect, but I thought I would show you a more deep and personal side of me and my writing. I hope you enjoy!

Covet Fashion App

Covet Fashion App

Hello! Yes I am back. If you have not heard of this app yet, you are missing out. Fear no longer, Covet fashion is an app where you can put together different looks from a great virtual closet and learn more about different designers and trends.

When I first heard about this app it was from my friend, I was not going to download it, but I said what the heck! As soon as it was downloaded I immediately did a tutorial which was very helpful and then you were on your way, and let me tell you it is very interesting. I haven’t stopped using it. What is so great about it? There is a section where you can enter events to win real prizes and prizes in the game, who does not love free stuff? You really just need to check it out for yourself, and there is even a fashion feed where it gives you the latest trends. Oh, and did I tell you that all the virtual pieces are actual clothing from their line, just click the Buy Online option and voilà. I hope you enjoy this app, and I also might be putting up more posts tonight!

Website to get the app: http://www.covetfashion.com

Let’s Take A Time Machine Back To The Twenties

I have not seen the Great Gatsby yet, but that doesn’t mean I have not heard about the fashion. The era of the 20’s is something I adore. I have always loved movies set in the 20’s with mobsters, flappers, and the elegance. It helps that the men dressed sharp for anything, it’s not like todays times where you see boys with their pants starting at their knees. Men knew how to treat a woman, and understand their true beauty. I can’t wait to watch The Great Gatsby, just for the Fashion and of course Leo DiCaprio. Can he be anymore perfect? Now let’s talk about this picture. Jimmy Choo heels, you can’t go wrong with those. These heels may be 20’s inspired but is current for today’s woman. The dress is simple with a touch of class, if you don’t want to go too Gatsby, wear this alone with your favorite accessories. Jewelry, can this get anymore perfect, glam up your everyday look and shine anytime of the day. I hope you liked this, comment if you have anything you want me to post, don’t be afraid, I’m not going to bite. Stay Classy!