There is a saying that goes something along the lines of “Friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know they are always there”. But what happens when the star that symbolizes a friendship fades away?
Before I get going with the purpose of this post, I just wanted to ask you all how you are doing? I hope you are having an absolutely lovely day. I on the other hand have freezing rain outside my window, well not just my window, but let’s just say it’s gloomy and I want to go take a nap. That is actually a pretty good idea, I think I am going to take a nap after I write this, is that okay with you all? Haha I can only ever take naps when it is cold and gloomy out, I do not know what it is, but I know I am probably not the only one who feels this way.
When a friendship starts loosing its spark, it is hard to accept. One person (in the friendship) may notice slight differences in how you both communicate, or the lack of effort one or both of you have in keeping the friendship intact. I wanted to bring this subject up because I have had to make a decision to keep certain people out of my life recently; whom I once thought brought me so much joy and happiness into my life. But I took a step back and saw the kind of person I was becoming. I did not recognize myself anymore. I was letting someone take advantage of me and I hardly realized it. I was letting the people who I was surrounded by influence my morals and what I really valued in life. This was TOXIC!
I do not know if any of you know that I am Christian. Now I know there has been a lot of negativity in the media highlighting some “Christians” and what they have been doing and what they believe. But first and foremost I do not want to force a relationship with God down your throat. Yes I will always speak about the good he has done in my life, but it is within reason. And that does not make me any less Christian for not going and preaching to people all the time. I get the feeling that Christian people have a bad reputation, but let me just say, NO ONE is the SAME. I treat everyone equally and a lot of Christians do, it is just the so called “bad one’s” we hear about. I bring this up because I had friends who did not respect the choices I was making because I want to be the best person I can be in the eyes of my God. It was hurting me because I had respected the questionable choices they had made, but when it was time for them to show the same respect, I got bashed and made fun of. What kind of friends are those, if you could even call them that? The point that I am trying to make is that do not keep people in your life that don’t respect your values. It is that simple, you do not need that in your life.
Sure the friendships I had did have their sparkle at most times, but when it goes out, it is out for good. What I mean by that is there were great memories that we made and they will never be forgotten. I do not wish my worst thoughts on them because what is the use? Sometimes people grow apart and you just can’t do anything to fix it.
I truly felt alone in these friendships a lot recently and up to the ending of the friendship. There were people who sort of came in and replaced me which is okay now since the friendship is gone. I am all for having a lot of friends, but how many can you say are your best friends? I hope my ex best friend realizes that I do not wish the worst thoughts on her, we had great times, and that our friendship was something really special. We both made mistakes, some more than others, but it is in the past. I hope you are able to live out your dreams, and live it out with people who are better suited for who you are, and where you are going.
I want you ALL to look into your life and make sure you have people in your life who make you better, lift you up, support you in school, and are overall the light to your smiles. As cheesy as it sounds your friends should light you up like the stars you are.
I am sorry that I have not been writing much, I have switched jobs, and university is crazy. I love you ALL, and I will see you when I see you