Today, as I was watching some of my favorite TV shows with my mom, I started wondering off in my own mind. Thinking about my past and how it has brought me to the beginning of my future. I decided that I am going to stay close to home, where I currently live, and attend the University of Connecticut, Go Huskies!! Actually I will be getting my own apartment, I can’t wait to blog about that! I am so thrilled about this new journey I am about to face. I cannot believe in a few months I will be a college student 🙂
I have gone through a lot in my past. Bullying has been a big part of that. People made me feel like I was not worth it, they made me feel horrible about myself, and I got to a point where I almost started believing them. For some time I kept running away from my problems, but I knew I could never really run away from something that still was haunting me. I don’t want this post to be some sob story but more of a motivation and inspiration to some. Up until high school, bullying, was always there. I was never pretty enough or skinny enough, but did that even really matter anymore? High school has been a blessing in my eyes, it has opened my heart to new experiences and cultures, and most of all I started to find myself. I have friends who accept me for who I am, who believe in bigger and better things for me. How have I been so lucky?
Since my past has left a scar on my heart, today I asked myself if the great things that are all coming together now, is something that I deserve. I almost had to slap myself to get that thought out of my head. I deserve to feel HAPPY, WORTHY, and DESERVING of everything that is coming my way. I have worked my butt off, not literally, yet 🙂 But in all sincerity, I can be my own worst enemy, but look where I am. Most people don’t make it as far as I have gotten and I am truly grateful. I have opened my heart to a new spiritual journey with none other that God himself, which I think has made me realize that I am worthy of what I receive. If you do not believe in God, it is okay, I don’t want to persuade you to believe in anything you do not want to, but I am just revealing more of who I am. Over the past couple of weeks he has shown me to forgive the people who have hurt me, and they might even be reading this post. I am willing to move on because I am at a point in my life where I do not want to look back at my past and be filled with hatred towards others, it just is not healthy. I am a lover not a fighter 🙂
The picture I have attached to this post is truly what I want each and every one of you’s to do. Yes I did purposely use the word you’s, wait, is that even a word? Well…whatever, it fit what I was trying to do. Which was trying to lighten the mood a little bit. You must be glad you came inside my head for just a while, huh? lol. (That was meant to be a tad sarcastic, and a bit of a metaphor, haha). Be HAPPY!! What makes me happy is writing and making others happy, I hope you all truly grasp that. This blog is supposed to be a mixture of who I am with a twist of fashion and music mixed in. I have not been good at keeping y’all updated, but you know I always come back. It breaks my heart if I am not able to write something for all of you. I pledge to try and keep you all happy, if you all pledge to be happy and stay strong in whatever is bringing you down because you will get through it, heck! I did 🙂 I hope you enjoyed reading this rant and I might be doing this type of writing more often, so keep posted, comment and like it up:)!!
With much love always,